This year, there’s been an uptick in people being accused of being horrible or insensitive for refusing to swap seats on flights—usually, it’s because they refused to swap seats with a parent, or some other family member. As a result, many people are accused of being insensitive or horrible for refusing to swap seats on flights. This is usually because they refused to swap with a parent or another family member. Travel + Leisure It’s not wrong to keep the seat for which you paid. Although you may be in the right, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel pressured to change your seat.
T+L spoke to conflict resolution expert, Dr. Michael A. Smith. Emily Skinner.
Skinner gave insight into how these situations can escalate. He also explained what to do if someone refuses to accept the word “no” and what to do if someone begins to film you. You’ll hopefully never have to deal with someone who is rude or weird about a seat-swapping situation. If you do, you should know what to do.
1. Understand your conflict style
You can never be sure what type of people you’ll meet when traveling. Skinner stated that knowing your response to conflict is the first thing you need to do to resolve it. Consider how you would respond if you were asked to do something you did not want to. Skinner said that a good understanding of your conflict style can help you to be successful. “You can tell what will trigger you before you even get on the plane or enter any type of conflict.”
Spend a moment thinking about your response to stressful situations. Skinner said that we are often passive and accept situations. The other way is to be assertive about your boundaries and what it is you want.
You can better control your emotions if you know how you usually respond. Will you yell at someone if they start screaming because you refused to give up the window seat to take a seat in the middle 10 rows back? Will you be silent? Know what triggers you. Skinner explained that you should know your threshold of overstimulation. “The more you know about those triggers and that there are many triggering events happening around you, the more control you have over your body.”
2. Try to diffuse the situation
When you tell someone you do not want to move seats, and they don’t say “Okay, cool”, you may need to employ some de-escalation strategies. Skinner says that one method is to show you have heard and understood, but also to let them know you plan ahead and would like to remain where you are.
If the explanation you gave doesn’t help, then it may be time to give up. Skinner explains that, “especially in a small area like an airplane, it’s best not to go any further,” he said. “If they push you further, then I will call a flight crew.” They’re now just bullying you.
3. It is not your responsibility to manage the situation
If someone confronts you on an airline, it is not your responsibility to handle the situation on your own. It could even make things worse. It’s not your job to manage the situation. [the seat swapper] Skinner replied: “Your decision is not comfortable.” Call a third-party, such as a flight attendant. This is part of the job they do, managing customer expectations and requirements.
Skinner said, “Be clear with your decision.” “If the situation goes beyond that, I will definitely contact a flight crew for assistance.”
4. You should keep your cool even if you’re being filmed
Public conflict is prone to being filmed these days. Skinner advised that you should remain calm if it happens to your, even though you may feel defensive. “Managing your own triggers is a big part of it, because just hearing the situation makes you want to be defensive, right?” Skinner explained that “it is very easy to enter fight or flight mode” when a camera appears.
The best way to proceed is to be very subdued in your response, and respond automatically. Engage minimally or not at all. Skinner advised that you could “double down” on your decision. She suggests saying “I know you are not happy with my choice,” “I’m sorry you don’t like it,” “I’m sorry you’re unhappy,” or “I’m sure you’re upset.”
Skinner explained that when it comes to filming you should be very clear: “I’m not granting you permission to shoot me, and I must state this.” “Less interaction with them is best, as they are trying to push you. They’re more concerned with themselves and are trying to force you to accept your decision.
5. Conflict is not always antagonistic
Most people imagine a situation where someone asks to switch seats with another person and they refuse. They often think of a loud, aggressive scenario. Sometimes, the pressure to give in can feel more subtle—guilt tripping or begging. It may be that they need to sit with their travel companion for a valid reason. It is not your job to make them move from their assigned seat if they don’t wish to.
Skinner explained that “both of these things can exist simultaneously”. “They need things, but so do you.” You choose your seat. If you do not want to move, you will remain there. “You don’t have to even explain that.”
You don’t need to justify your refusal or give any reason. You can show compassion and acknowledge the fact that this may be difficult, uncomfortable or tough.
Are you as involved in the seat swapping culture debate as the rest on the Internet? Travel + Leisure Has spoken to legal expertsWe spoke to flight attendants, etiquette specialists and other experts about this issue. We have even provided tips on how you can ask to swap seats Without causing any nightmare scenario above.
